affair. I don’t know why this came as a surprise. It’s not like nobody ever
told me, because I have heard it from several people; but somehow it had not sunk
in until now.
too busy unpacking and settling into your new place, getting your paperwork in
order, figuring out the fastest way to get the kids to school, getting a new
driver’s license or solving little crises, such as placing that emergency order of
heating oil, when you suddenly ran out and had to shower in freezing cold water
for a week. You learn a lot during those first few weeks. You don’t have time
to miss people; or rather, you don’t have time to realise that you do.
getting your routine back. The kids are settling into school. You organise the
first birthday party. You have a family doctor. You relax, occasionally. And that’s
when you realise that there is something missing from your honeymoon – besides
the warm weather. It’s the social life. You know when you don’t have one. If
you threw a housewarming party tomorrow, the guest list would consist of six
people – and you would hope that they would all show up. You are grateful for
and to these six people. They have been welcoming and generous and you owe them
your life and your sanity. This would have been a totally different experience
had it not been for them. But at the same time it is a totally different experience from what you are used to.
crazy, action-packed weekends, but the quiet, mellow weekends feel kind of
weird. The weekly soccer league games were not always the highlight of your Saturday
(particularly when your kid had to be at the soccer field at 8am in the pouring
rain), but at least they gave some structure to the weekend. Now that there is
a break until after Christmas, you’re a bit lost and your children are bored
and that is one of the last things you want to have to deal with.
afternoon reading a book; or cooking dinner in peace rather than sandwiched
between two other social activities. You don’t really mind. Part of you seeks the slowness. Part of you starts to enjoy
that you will get used to enjoying the solitude. It’s scary, because it’s not
you. Maybe it has been such a long time since the last time you were that
self-sufficient, processing so much by yourself, that you have forgotten that person
can be you. So you try to enjoy the
change, but you can’t help thinking that it is only temporary; that things will
change with time. In fact, you are impatient for things to change. Because self-sufficient
or not, you like being around people.